My Blood Sings to You, by Niomi, January 1998 (VOY: P/T, rated NC-17) SUMMARY: A fill-in-the-blanks story which begins during "Revulsion" continues from there, also adds to "Day of Honor". CAUTIONARY NOTES: This work of fiction is RATED NC-17. If you are under 18 please do not read further. If graphic descriptions of m/f sexuality are not your cup of tea, don’t read this either. I’m off the hook, I warned you. GENERAL DISCLAIMER: Everything Star Trek, including characters and episodes belong to Paramount, Inc. and Viacom. I’m only borrowing their characters and stories, just for fun. Please don’t sue. AUTHORS NOTES: I think the Paris/Torres relationship will be far from smooth. They are unlikely to fall into a romantic relationship without some hesitations on both sides. It is possible that prior to "Scientific Method" they discover each other sexually, and are wrapped up in that new exciting aspect of their relationship, which leads to their "poor judgment" in that episode. DISTRIBUTION: This story can be shared with friends, but please do not post it on the Internet or publish without permission from the author. Please keep the above disclaimers and credits attached. I have truly enjoyed the experience I've had writing this. Thank you for reading it. All comments and criticisms are appreciated and can be sent to NiomiP@aol.com. ********** "Deck 11, Engineering." B'Elanna leaned against the back wall of the turbolift and exhaled deeply. She touched her lips tentatively, she could still feel his kiss, Tom's kiss. Her heart was still beating double time. *He kissed me. Why did he do that? What just happened between us?*, she mused. The past few days had been very difficult for her. She'd been avoiding Tom, even to the point of ignoring several messages he left for her on her communications system. From the tone of his voice on the messages, he seemed to be cautious, but anxious to talk to her. Three days ago, the Day of Honor, had been one of the worst days of her life. Not only had Captain Janeway assigned Seven of Nine to work with her, but she'd had a particularly nasty argument with Tom that ended with his storming out of her quarters. She saw, too late, that she'd really hurt him, and all because she didn't want to talk about the Klingon Day of Honor program he'd helped her design. She hadn't even completed the ritual. Then the experiment to open up a sub-space conduit as per Seven of Nine's suggestion resulted in her having to dump the warp core. Nothing could be worse for the Chief of Engineering of any ship, much less an Intrepid-class vessel. The day had not improved after she and Tom took the shuttle to locate the warp core. They were unable to retrieve it and thanks to the Caatati's destruction of the shuttle, wound up stranded in space in EVA suits. B'Elanna closed her eyes at the thought. They'd nearly died out there. The oxygen had gotten so thin, it had been almost impossible to think straight. She wondered if that had really influenced what she had said to Tom. *No. I know it didn't.* B'Elanna had realized there was no need for painsticks or ritual combat, fate seemed determined to give her a unique set of trials on this Day of Honor. The whole time they were fighting to breathe, to stay alive, B'Elanna was reviewing the events of her life. *Well, that's the purpose of the Day of Honor anyway, she'd thought. No time like the end of your life to take a good look at what you've done with it.* As B'Elanna took stock, she saw that too many of her memories were filled with fear; fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of success, fear of risk. This was certainly no way for a Klingon, or even a half-Klingon, to live, not facing those fears! Courage didn't just mean sufficient bravery to fight an enemy hand to hand, it meant having the strength to face what life brought you. She realized with a sudden stab of pain, that her mother must have had this kind of courage to marry a human, something which was not socially acceptable, and then to hold her head high when he left. She may have been cold at times, but she had also been very strong. B'Elanna wished she'd inherited some of that strength. She'd run from so many situations and people in her life, she knew that it had to stop now. She wouldn't run from the situation right in front of her. If she was going to die, she was going to do it with courage. Would Kahless really meet her in Sto-Vo-Kor, and escort her across the River of Blood, just like her mother had told her? It really didn't matter, she would at least try to regain some honor by doing the one thing she could. She had been afraid to face her feelings for Tom. She knew she cared for him, more than anyone she'd ever known. She was in love with him. She finally allowed herself to think it without immediately banishing the thought. The prospect of sharing this truth with him made her heart leap into her throat. *I can't run anymore. I am going to face this. There's no more time, no excuses, and at least I'll die with some honor.* Despite a resolve born of impending death, she'd barely been able to utter "Tom, I love you." He answered, "You picked a great time to tell me," and moved to embrace her as best they could in the EVA suits. Then she lost consciousness. Following the Day of Honor, B'Elanna struggled with her feelings of indecision. She had told Tom she loved him, and she knew it was the truth. If she took it back now, she would have live with the dishonor of a lie. If she wanted to move forward in her life, she couldn't do that. She would have to stand by it, but she didn't really expect Tom to feel the same way. Even if he did feel something, she had no right to expect anything from him. What if he did have feelings for her? Then what would she do? It wasn't a likely scenario. After all, how had he responded to her admission? She really didn't know how to interpret it. He hadn't told her he loved her. Tom might be attracted to her, he may have said he "cared about her", but it wasn't likely he had real feelings for her. B'Elanna knew he certainly wasn't prepared for the kind of emotional bomb she'd dropped on him. Considering how she had consistently pushed him away, even just a few hours before being trapped in space, he certainly could not have suspected she loved him. She would have to confront him, and tell him that she didn't expect him to reciprocate her feelings, and that he could just pretend she hadn't said anything. That would be the fair and honorable thing to do. B'Elanna just wasn't sure when the best time for this discussion would be. Tom saved her the trouble of finding one. He caught up to her as she left Tuvok's promotion celebration, and cornered her in the corridor. "B'Elanna, we have to talk." *Now?* She thought. *You want to have this out now? Allright, hotshot, you're asking for it.* He tried to give her a graceful way of backing out of her statement, and for a split second she was tempted, but she had already made up her mind. "No, Tom, I meant what I said." She then went on with her planned discourse on how she didn't expect anything, etc., when he did the last thing that she could have imagined. He grabbed her, pushed her up against the corridor wall and told her to "Shut up" before kissing her with surprising passion and feeling. These were not the actions of a man who did not share some of the emotion she felt. This was a man who had been waiting a long time to fulfill his desire. *If the Doctor hadn't interrupted, what would have happened next?* she thought. The turbolift door chime rang again. B'Elanna realized she'd been standing in the turbolift with the door open, not moving, with a smile emerging on her face. *I was wrong. I guess he does feel something,* she thought as she hurried down the corridor. She felt like shouting, but she didn't know if it was out of joy or panic. ***** The rest of the day had been memorable. How often does a psychotic isomorphic projection try to rip your heart out? Luckily, the Doctor had been able to repair the damage quickly once they had gotten back to sickbay. It almost seemed that fate was conspiring to push her into action, putting her in life or death situations twice in just a few days. She wanted to prove to Tom that she wouldn't push him away or run away from him now. She invited Tom to her quarters that night. His earlier passionate kiss gave her enough reason to think her invitation would be well received, and she was right. "Only if you think your heart can take it," his cocky grin could not cover his obvious excitement. B'Elanna felt reassured, but thought, *Now we've started down this path, and I need to see where it's going to lead, no matter what the outcome.* ***** B'Elanna was waiting in her quarters. Waiting for Tom. She had changed into a pair of black lounging pajamas. What did she have in mind for this evening? She didn't know exactly, she wasn't thinking that far ahead yet. She may have been resolved to proceed, but that didn't stop her from feeling very nervous. This was the part where she still felt insecure. She was fairly confident that there was some emotional reciprocation from Tom, and that made her feel like grinning from ear to ear, and her pulse race. He was a very attractive man. He wasn't really her type at all though, too fair, too refined-looking. But still there was something about his smile and those blue eyes that changed to a deeper blue whenever he talked to her. She had noticed that phenomenon. They had been spending progressively more time together in the past few months, more and more of it alone. They'd discovered they did like each other's company and could talk to each other, more so than B'Elanna ever expected. They even worked together well, the Day of Honor program was really an excellent piece of work. So , what was next? She had really shaken the normal sequence of events in a relationship. You generally work your way up to "I love you", not start from there. This was confusing. She was fixing her hair in the mirror when the door chime sounded. She took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. "Come" she responded and turned to face Tom. "B'Elanna, you look stunning." "Well, thank you. Come sit down." "How are you feeling? The Doc said you were fine, but sometimes it takes a while to feel like yourself again after a life-threatening injury. I should know." She laughed and shook her head. "I'm a little tired, but I'm glad you came to see me tonight. Would you like something to drink?" She asked. "We could replicate something, I've got plenty of extra rations." "That sounds good." "What would you suggest?" "Hmm. I haven't had a Chateau La Pelletrie, in a long time." "You're the expert." She said as she seated herself on the couch. "Allright." Tom stepped over to the replicator. "Two glasses of Chateau La Pelletrie, St. Emillion, Bordeaux, vintage 2458, room temperature." The replicator hummed briefly and Tom handed the wine to B'Elanna and joined her on the couch. He contemplatively inhaled as he swirled the wine inside the glass. He took a small sip and inhaled through his mouth creating a slight gurgling sound. He closed his eyes and swallowed. "As good as I remember." "What was that?" B'Elanna asked. "Sorry, just one of those wine connoisseur things I picked up in France. You're supposed to sip the wine and aerate it in your mouth to get the full effect of the taste and smell." "Well, I didn't analyze it quite the way you did, but I do like it." They sipped the wine. "How is Harry doing? You said he was having some sort of breakdown?" "I just had a long talk with him, and he'll be fine." "What was the problem?" "I shouldn't really say. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone." "I'm not just anyone, I'm one of his best friends." "You're right. Just don't tell him I told you the story. He'd be pretty embarrassed." "Now this sounds intriguing. What happened?" "Well, Harry doesn't always have the best judgment when it comes to women." B'Elanna snorted, "and who are you to talk, Paris?" He gave her a look that dripped irony. "Present company included?" She almost blushed. "No. Sorry. Please continue." "Earlier today Harry brought Seven of Nine to sickbay with a nasty cut on her hand. After she left, he started to go on and on about her, and I told him I thought he had a crush on her." "Seven of Nine? What is he thinking? Oh, I know what he's thinking. Half the ship, the male half anyway, has been ogling her for days. You didn't encourage him I hope." She said with a pointed expression. "I didn't. I think that he just doesn't understand how complicated the situation could become. She's barely getting used to looking like a human again, never mind having human emotions. I think if he would try to start anything now they could both wind up hurt." "I'd agree, but was that all that got him so worked up?" "No, it gets more complicated." Tom paused to run his hand through his hair and tried unsuccessfully to stifle a smile. "He apparently was discussing their work on the astrometrics lab with her and then he suggested they check out the Ktarian Moonrise simulation. She apparently realized he was coming on to her, and she cut to the chase and invited him to "copulate" with her." B'Elanna couldn't repress a throaty laugh. "You're not serious." She paused. "He didn't, did he?" "No way. He backed off and just left. It really confused him. He even went to Chakotay to try to get out of working with her anymore. But apparently Seven had submitted a good report about their work, and he wouldn't let him switch. I think he just underestimated how much adjusting Seven has to do. He may find her attractive and interesting and all, but she's not used to even simple social interaction. Well, at least she's not a hologram. I just don't want to see him get hurt." "I hope he doesn't." They shared a silence for a long moment. B'Elanna took another sip of the wine. "This is good," she said in a low voice and looked up at Tom. Her gaze pulled him back from his contemplation of his glass. It was his move now, wasn't it? He had kissed her after the promotion celebration for Tuvok, but she had invited him here tonight. This morning when she had stuck by her admission she loved him, he'd been floored. He honestly thought she'd take the out he offered her. He would have been overjoyed if she had said she'd been hasty in saying she loved him, but that she did have feelings for him and did want to explore the possibility of a relationship. But then when she began to tell him how she didn't expect him to reciprocate, and he saw her retreating for him yet again, his elation turned to frustration. *Yeah, there you go again, but you aren't going to push me away this time*, he thought. The only response he could come up with then had been to kiss her. The interruption of that kiss by the Doctor had almost been a blessing. He had no idea what he would have said next, just like right now, he wasn't sure what to say. He leaned forward and kissed her gently. He could feel the passion in her response to his kiss. He wanted her, very much. He cared about her, and had for a long time. Now he was here with her, just like he'd been dreaming, and she "loved" him. What was next? He wanted to be sure they were on the same page at least. "B'Elanna, you do want to pursue this, I mean the two of us, in a relationship?" "Yes," she looked at him with an uncertain expression, "after this morning I thought you might want that too." He gave her a gentle smile. "For the longest time." He leaned in to kiss her again, this time parting her lips with his tongue. He continued the tentative exploration for a moment and then pulled back from her. He took the glass from her hand and placed it down while drawing her into his arms in what appeared a spontaneous movement, which was actually a very practiced move. He took her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. Those intensely dark rich brown eyes. He realized it wasn’t just her beautiful eyes that stirred him, but what lay behind them. He kissed her again, with the same intensity as before. She reached up and stroked the nape of his neck, working her fingers through that unruly blond hair. His arms encircled her and he felt her body against him. She was such a good kisser. As Tom began to kiss her throat and he felt it happen. In his mind he started to work out a sequence of events as how he would touch her, where to kiss next, when he’d bite her and exactly where. Usually he did go on "autopilot" in sexual situations, but this time it felt wrong. What the hell was wrong with him? This exotic, beautiful woman who was apparently in love with him wanted him. He knew from her kiss and her breathing that he could have her right now if he so chose. But this was not quite right. He was a little unsure of what to do, somehow the script just wasn’t going to work. *Paris, you can't do this.* He pulled back from her again, overcome by a flood of conflicting emotions. "Tom? What's wrong?" She asked. "B'Elanna, I think today has been very eventful for both of us, and you are still recuperating. I think the best thing to do would be for us to make some plans for later and get some sleep tonight." "What? Did I do something wrong here?" "No, definitely not", he laughed and pulled her closer. "Oh. Then why?" He took her hand. "I think tonight wouldn't be the best time for either of us. I'd rather we have all the time and energy we need to make the first time....special." "Such a romantic notion." "I suppose so," he answered, "but that's the kind of guy I am." She looked thoughtful. "How does an evening in the Holodeck sound?" she said running her hand through his hair again. "I can join you after my shift tomorrow." "Good. I'll be waiting for you at 20:00." They kissed again and he moved to embrace her tightly. "Good night, and sweet dreams." "They will be. " As Tom walked down the corridor to his quarters, he tried to digest the events of the day. He understood why he'd kissed her this morning, but why wasn't he with her now, in her bed? This was a first for him, leaving the embrace of a beautiful woman. Why was his mind not cooperating? His body was more than interested. Damn, he had to work this out soon. He didn't want to mess this, relationship, if you could call it that, up. ********** B'Elanna couldn't help feeling a little rejected, but not nearly as much as she'd felt after the Pon Farr experience. *I've got to stop feeling so insecure. I know how I feel. He's not rejecting me, he just isn't quite ready, after all, I'm the one who went and changed things. Romantic. He wants romantic. What can I do that's romantic?* The last time they'd been on the holodeck had been working on the Day of Honor program, and Tom had told her about some of the other programs he'd developed while on Voyager. Then it occurred to her which one just might be right. ********** After Tom returned to his quarters, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. So he opted to do some reading. It was more research than reading actually. Some time ago he had read "Women Warriors and the River of Blood", the Klingon romance novel he'd "borrowed" from B'Elanna. It had been an engrossing story, but it was a bit euphemistic on the physical details of Klingon sex. He was now searching the computer's databanks on Klingon mating practices. He had a feeling that this research would be useful, very soon. He found many aspects of the Klingon culture fascinating, but he had a mixed response to this. *Well, they are enthusiastic, which is certainly admirable, he thought with a smirk, but some of this does not look like a good time. Way too rough.* The idea of breaking bones during sex seemed to take some of the fun out of it. He'd had "sex injuries" before; rugburn, pulled muscles, bruises from falling out of bed or from vigorous activity in places not intended for that purpose, and none of that had diminished his interest. However, broken collarbones, cracked ribs, and lacerations were another matter. He kept thinking about B'Elanna's responses to him so far. She hadn't tossed him across the room, or tried to bite him, yet. She was reacting more like a human than a Klingon. This was a problem. Preparation for this unknown could be very difficult. B'Elanna had responded very much like a Klingon on Sakari IV when she was undergoing the Pon Farr. But, that was a magnification of her Klingon instincts, wasn't it? He realized he had no way of predicting just how Klingon or human she would be, or what kind of response she would want. *Well, this is an interesting problem. I'm going to be pretty clueless.* All the time and research hadn't given him any more information or advantage than when he and B'Elanna had almost been together on Sakari IV. He'd been unsure of what to do then, and it wasn't looking any better now. He shook his head with disbelief. *I guess I'm going to have to improvise.* He replicated a scotch and began to drink it slowly while staring out the viewport at the stars. It was getting late, but he still couldn't sleep. He was still trying to understand his actions. B'Elanna was different from any woman he'd ever known or been involved with before. His previous girlfriends and lovers were all kept an a figurative "arms length" by a front of gallantry, by being an officer and a gentleman. At least that was the case with the women he'd known prior to the end of his Starfleet career. If he maintained that code of conduct, he was living up to expectations, but he never really allowed them to be close to him. As for the women he'd encountered during his alcohol-guided tour of the bars of the alpha quadrant, they probably honestly didn't feel or care any more for him than he did for them. These interactions had been fleeting, but very honest. No one expected anything but a good time. For Tom, sex had always been a series of action/reaction scenarios. He monitored the situation and responded. He knew that this made him very good lover, but it still was a bit like working the controls of the helm. It hadn't always been like that. Earlier in his life, much earlier, he'd been in love and it had been wonderful. The physical part of the relationship was as real and meaningful as the emotional part. But her feelings had changed, and she'd broken his heart. Sometimes it still hurt. Despite his reputation, he had *not* slept with half the crew. He enjoyed flirting, mostly because he could better control the situation if he was the instigator. So, he was a flirt, but that was about the extent of it. He had dated Megan, and they had been intimate, but she had ended it because she didn't want a man who wasn't really there emotionally. She had realized how well Tom could avoid really getting close to people, and resented the fact that he wouldn't let her in, especially when she knew how close he was to Harry and B'Elanna. *That's probably why she's with Geron now, he thought. Bajorans are very emotive. I'm sure he has no trouble sharing every emotional experience he's ever had.* Since then he'd been reluctant to get involved with anyone else, especially in a casual physical relationship. Voyager was just too small a ship. He didn't want to wind up with women on board hating his guts because he wasn't their prince charming. Not only did he have to work with them, it *was* going to be a long trip home. B’Elanna certainly didn't have problems expressing emotion, well the Klingon variety anyway. The way you could see her struggle with her emotions fascinated him. She did not have the concrete illusion of control he'd perfected for himself. Sometimes he felt dead and cold inside with nothing to fight with. This was especially true after he was discharged from Starfleet. He had done a lot of stupid things just trying to make himself feel better, or just trying to feel anything at all. B'Elanna's problem was lack of control. If she was mad at you, you knew it. She had one hell of a temper! He was almost jealous her intensity. His thoughts had again wound their way back to B'Elanna. He still didn't know how he would deal with the situation. He sighed, sleep was finally beginning to overtake him. He hoped tomorrow would provide an answer. ****** Tom awoke with a smile on his face. He’d just had the best dream about B’Elanna. She was dressed in classic Klingon garb; skin-hugging black leather with a cutout to expose her cleavage. *She would look amazing in that outfit.* However, in his dream she'd come after him with a Bat'Leth and he'd been fighting for his life, when suddenly, she was able to knock his weapon from his hands and pin him to the ground. Then the dream got more interesting. Unfortunately, the alarm had gone off just before he could get the fastenings on the tight leather bodice undone. He got up slowly. There was a message for him on the communications console. It was from B'Elanna. "Meet me at holodeck 3 at 20:00. Dress casual, warm weather." Tom’s mind wandered to B’Elanna, mentally beginning to undress her, seeing her bronzed skin on her neck and shoulders. Remembering how soft it was to his touch. He exhaled slowly, *relax Tom*, he thought. *Soon enough.* He was surprised again at how she could totally occupy his thoughts. No woman had ever been quite this much of a distraction. As Tom got showered and dressed and made his way to the Mess Hall his mood began to cloud. He still didn't know why he’d pushed her away , well put her off really, last night. B'Elanna was different, he had feelings for her. God that was scary. He had done so much to stop feeling when he was younger. He got really good at it. Then it hit him. He wasn't just attracted to her, didn't just care about her, he was very much in love with B'Elanna Torres. An ex-Maquis, an engineer, and a half-Klingon. The Admiral would have an anurism if he knew. That might have been part of her appeal. He had been in love before, not often, but it had happened. But this was still different. He spent the remainder of the day contemplating B'Elanna. *I love her. That's the problem. She isn't just a beautiful woman I want, she's a beautiful woman I'm in love with.* ********** When he reached the Holodeck a program was already in progress. He walked I and found himself on the beach. His beach. This was his program of his family's summer home. He made his way to the house. The weather was perfect, warm slightly breeze and a gentle late-afternoon sun. He walked up the steps to the deck and at the back of the house and saw B'Elanna setting up a table. "Tom you're right on time." She walked up to him sliding her arms around him and kissing him. She was wearing a sarong skirt and halter top both in a dark shade of red. She was breathtaking. She was so beautiful and he felt a pang of something, maybe his heart skipping a beat. She untwined herself from him and took his hand, leading him over to the table. "Computer, engage privacy lock authorization Torres alpha 4." Tom looked at her intently and she gave him a sly smile. "I know what you're thinking Lieutenant., but I'm hungry and I want to eat first." As he sat down, Tom asked, "Why did you pick this program tonight?" " Well, you spent so much time in the Holodeck learning to use a Bat'Leth and other Klingon rituals, I thought I'd like to spend some time in a place that was important to you." "Wow, I admit I'm surprised. I didn't think you'd remember my talking about this program", he replied. "By the way, how did you get my access codes to run it?" "Being Chief Engineer does have certain advantages." "I guess I'm going to have to be more careful with my personal logs from now on, aren't I?" "That might be advisable. The codes for personal logs aren't much more difficult to locate," she said with a teasing grin. They ate, talking about the holoprogram, and the general goings on of the day. When they finished, B'Elanna said, "Come on, you can give me a tour of the house." Tom showed her around, pointing out family pictures, his mom's antique crystal collection, and the various military memorabilia brought home by several generations of Paris officers. Suddenly, B'Elanna stepped close and slid her arms up and over his shoulders. Pressing herself against him she asked, "And where is your room?" "Upstairs", he answered, breaking into a grin, "right this way...." He took her hand and let her up the stairs. They stepped into his room and B'Elanna began to look around. The walls were adorned with holoimages of air and space craft of various centuries; the F-16 Tomcat, Hawkings Drive fighters, the Enterprise B, and others. He also had Van Gogh's "Starry Night" and Kitridge's "Temple of the Moon". Surprisingly, there was also large collection of bound paper books. On the chest of drawers sat a holo of a young Tom Paris climbing a sheer cliff, and several of his parents and sisters. She said, "Well, not exactly what I expected." "What, you expected girlie posters or something?" "Well, that wouldn't have surprised me of a teenage Tom Paris." "My mom would not have appreciated that choice of decor." "Neither would I." B'Elanna walked over to the family holos. "So where are all the holos of your old girlfriends?" "Well, I designed this program from when I was seventeen. Back then, there really hadn't been any." "Oh come on, Paris." "Honestly, I didn't have much of a social life before I went to the academy. My Dad sent me this all-male military prep school for secondary ed. He wanted to be sure I'd be accepted to Starfleet Academy and be at the top of my class. Between that and all the time spent in flight simulators, I never got the opportunity to do much else but prepare for the academy. I didn't really even date anyone until the summer before I went." "Really. What was she like?" "Well," he couldn't believe he was telling her this! "Her name was Sue and her family owned the house on the other side of the cove. We'd known each other for a couple of years, both our families spent the summers here. But that summer, well, I fell madly in love with her. We spent all our time together. She went to the Academy also." He stopped and looked out the window at the rolling surf. Sue brought up a tumultuous mixture of wonderful and painful memories. "Sounds like she has a special place in your heart." B'Elanna said gently, breaking his thought as she moved next to him. "Well, she was my first lover." He got a wistful look on his face which was quickly superceded by a roguish smile. "It happened in this room actually." "Really? Well, Paris, this may be a very lucky place for you." She wrapped her arms around him and bent up to kiss him. The kiss grew in intensity. And suddenly Tom felt something he hadn't felt for a very long time. He realized that the detached dialogue usually so prevalent in his mind was gone. He was only seeing and feeling and touching and tasting her. There was only now. It has been along time since he felt anything like this. Her kiss breathed life back into the part of his soul which had been dead and cold for so long. He broke the kiss and looked deeply into her eyes and said, "B'Elanna I love you." He looked intently into her eyes, "I've closed myself off and felt nothing for a long time, B’Elanna, so when I began to have feelings for you it scared me. It still does." He took her face in his hands, and continued to look deeply. Why was she here? He wasn't sure he'd ever understand her feelings toward him. He didn't know what she saw in his eyes, all he ever saw there usually disappointed him. He was more than happy she was with him now. He wanted so much to please her, to give her something to convince her he was sincere. His declaration of love he thought would not ring true. He knew he meant it, but he had to make her believe. He wanted to make love to her, all of her, not just her body, but her soul. He wanted to make her feel, make her know, she was as beautiful in her heart as she was on the outside. Even if she decided later on that she didn't want him anymore, that it was lust, not love, she'd been feeling, he wanted to give her something special now. "B'Elanna, you are so beautiful. I love every aspect of you, when you're intent on solving a problem, when you're about to deck somebody, and when you laugh at my stupid jokes, especially when you laugh." He paused and looked intently at her. "You feel deeply, and you affect me deeply." B'Elanna was unsettled by his words. How could he feel this way about her? She wasn't beautiful. Whatever it was that Tom was so attracted to, she didn't fully know. But he was here, and he seemed so sincere, she just couldn't believe he meant all of it. But that didn't matter right now. This was what she came here for. She wanted him, and she wanted to prove she wasn't going to run away from him again. "Tom, I'm not sure what to say, besides thank you. I usually don't get that kind of compliment." "I'll have to remember to do that more often." Holding each other close, they resumed the kiss. It was intense but still a little tentative. Slowly they began more aggressive movements until the kiss became a deep exploration of each other's mouths. Tom broke the kiss and began to trace B'Elanna's jawline with his tongue. As he moved down her nick alternating kisses with gentle nips, she rolled her head back and sighed. She felt goosebumps all down her side as he traced the outline of her ear, sucking on the earlobe. She began to turn her attention to his neck and jaw, breathing deeply of his scent, allowing it to trigger powerful memories and urges within her. She was running a series of kisses and nips along his jawline when she came to the spot where she'd bitten him before. She began to slowly and sensuously run her teeth over the spot, and felt Tom hold her more tightly. She was encouraged, and gave in to a deep need to claim him as her own. She bit hard and felt him quiver as she tasted his blood. Tom found the sensation surprisingly pleasurable, and not so painful as the last time, probably because he was prepared for it. B'Elanna made a low sound of satisfaction deep in her throat and continued to kiss and lick the curve of his neck and was beginning to unbutton his shirt. She pushed it off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She stopped to admire his broad shoulders and strong chest, covered with a soft down of golden hair. She began to run her fingers through it, stopping to tease his nipples. Tom reached up to caress her shoulders and deftly untied her top before discarding it. Her breasts were as full and firm as he had imagined. He gently ran his fingertips over them causing her nipples to become even more erect. This felt like a moment to make a non-verbal statement. He scooped her up, lay her on the bed and, grabbing her wrists, pinned her down. He had decided he just didn't growl convincingly, so she'd have to settle for his breathing in her ear. "I want to claim you." He began to kiss her shoulder, moving to the point where it met her lovely neck. He bit her, just barely breaking the skin. She responded with a gasp and by pushing up close against him. He relaxed his grip on her and began to kiss her mouth again. She took advantage of his lapse and flipped him onto his back. "I think you can do without these." She said as she began to undo his jeans. They finished completely disrobing each other and stopped to admire. Tom began to stroke his hand up and down her body, eliciting shivers from B'Elanna. He shifted position so that he could trace the curve of her feet and calves. Then he began to gently bite and kiss the inside of her thigh, working his way up from the back of her knee. He readjusted his position and moved to cup her hips in his hands. Tom gently, almost reverently, bent to kiss her delta of Venus. As his lips touched her she gasped with shocked surprise. He stopped and looked up at her with some evident confusion and asked, "B'Elanna, are you all right? Do you want me to stop?" "No, don't stop", she replied quietly. Tom continued with his earlier actions. He began softly at first, kissing along her soft folds, finally parting the with his fingers. He began by penetrating her with his tongue and then moved to softly manipulate her clitoris. His actions drew assorted gasps and moans form her. When he inserted is fingers in her, moving slowly inside her, she began to breathe even harder. He continued with increasing intensity until she trembled and cried out with an unexpected rush of fluid from her body. He felt a sense of satisfaction, that had been good for her, very good, no question about it. He was still puzzled by her reaction to his wanting to do it in the first place. He moved up her body, leaving a trail of kisses along her stomach and breasts, ending at her neck. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand and looked again into her deep brown eyes which seemed full of emotion. She smiled up at him and moved to kiss him with renewed intensity. She stroked his back, down to his firm butt. "Are you ready?" he whispered in her ear. "Yes." He moved over her and wrapped his arms under her shoulders, almost cradling her as her entered her. He stopped for a long moment, taking in all of the sensation. He began to move in her, and she matched his pace. As they made love, Tom alternated soft kisses with whispers in her ear. Whispering her name over and over, telling her how good she felt, how much he loved her, and how beautiful she was. She did not expect her reaction to his words. Each time he called her name she felt shivers up and down her spine. She felt the waves of her climax begin and wash over her again and again. With each wave, she dug her nails into his back again, leaving long scratches. Tom continued his movements and then experienced a powerful orgasm which left his ears ringing. As his tremors abated he lay on top of her, trying not to put his entire weight on her. B'Elanna lay trying to catch her breath. *Oh my god. I didn't know...* Her thought remained incomplete. She suddenly felt very young and naive, as she realized her prior sexual experiences paled badly in comparison to this. None of her previous lovers had focused on her and her pleasure so intently. She felt used, and a bit angry, not just with her old lovers, but with herself. She was a smart woman, why had she accepted less before? She'd been cheated out of this unbelievably intense experience that Tom had just shared with her. *Because you were afraid to ask too much, afraid that they'd leave you if you did something wrong or weren't what they wanted.* Tom raised his head and looked into her eyes, drinking her in, as a smile slowly crept across his face. He said, "I must be getting heavy on you," as he moved to her side and they wrapped their arms around each other. As they lay intertwined, Tom felt like floating and he could hear the crashing waves outside. He exhaled deeply. This was the first bit of peace he'd had in a long time. "Bella, what's on your mind, you look a million miles away from here." " I was just thinking." "Yes, about what?" She looked away from him. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." "Tom, that was unbelievable. I've never experienced anything that, intense, before. You were so wonderful to me." "B'Elanna, I just wanted to show you some part of what I feel." He paused, continuing to stroke her shoulder. "I'm sure I'm not the only one to be so taken with you." B'Elanna wasn't sure how to answer him. No one before had willingly or enthusiastically accepted her "aggressive tendencies" as one man had put it. Tom had actually seemed to enjoy it when she bit him and had even reciprocated. She finally replied, "Maybe, but no one ever showed me the way you just did. They all either thought I behaved too much like a Klingon or too human". The look on his face said he was paying attention to what she was saying, but didn't understand how it could be true. Tom suddenly began to understand that he'd accepted her as she was, all of her, and no one else had before. "Oh, Bella, you deserve much better. " She snuggled next to him and lay her head on his chest slowly running her hand through his chest hair. She turned her head to look up at him. "I hope I was all right," she asked questioningly. "You have nothing to be concerned about." He laughed softly. "Believe me." He took her hand and kissed it. She smiled and closed her eyes for a moment. "Thank you." "I'm not being generous, you are a very exciting, passionate woman." After a moment, a mischievous grin crossed B'Elanna's face as she rose up and straddled Tom. "How exciting?" she asked as she raked her hands along his chest, sending shivers through him. "More than enough for what you seem to have in mind." She reached up to kiss him, running her now very erect nipples along his chest, sending sensations through them both. He knitted his hands in her hair, holding the back of her head as she kissed him, filling his mouth with her tongue. B'Elanna began to trace a pattern of small bites and kisses along his throat and over his shoulders. When she arrived at his nipples she teased them with her tongue, making them more erect and very sensitive to her touch. She continued to kiss down his chest and stomach, running her hands along his sides down to his thighs. Her caresses seemed to burn fiery trails on his skin. His breathing grew more punctuated as she began to touch his now very erect penis. She lightly ran her fingers along his length, then turning her attention to his testicles, rolling them along her palm. Tom exhaled deeply as she began a series of kisses along his shaft, finally tasting the very tip with her tongue. She took him in her mouth and drew him in and out, flicking her tongue along the underside of the glans at the end of each stroke. Tom was paralyzed with the sensations she was wringing from him. He clenched at the sheets for some bit of control as another series of moans escaped him. He could not last much longer if she kept this up. B'Elanna sensed the change in his breathing and slowed her pace and then took him in her hands instead. After maneuvering over his hips she guided him in. She moved slowly along his length, getting accustomed to the feel. Then she began to rock up and down in earnest. Her strokes were so powerful, Tom found it difficult to respond with his own movements. He resigned himself to submitting to her control. He ran his hands along her body, kneading her breasts and flicking his fingers along the nipples. He then moved one hand down to trace small circles on her clitoris. As they both approached climax, they began to emit a chorus of cries and moans so loud they both were thankful the holodeck was soundproof. B'Elanna felt the waves of her orgasm take her and she convulsed with pleasure again and again. The sensation of her body constricting around him pushed Tom over the edge and he joined her in uncontrollable spasms. They both were breathing heavily, as B'Elanna collapsed on Tom's chest. She began to giggle. "What...what's so funny?" he said breathlessly. "You have the most interesting expression on your face when you come. I think I want to see it again, ....and again, ....and again." "Are you trying to kill me?" he said lightly. "It is a possibility, but I think you'll enjoy it." "Somehow I think you're right," he replied as he kissed the top of her head and lay back with a contented smile. ****** The sun had finished setting, and a full moon had risen. Tom and B'Elanna walked along the beach, arms wrapped around each others' waists. The surf gently rolled up to their feet. She looked up at the man next to her. All she wanted to do was touch him, to be close to him. It was an absolutely consuming thought. Tom suddenly stopped and drew her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. "Thank you." "You're welcome. But for what exactly?" "For choosing this program, for being with me. I haven't felt this good in a long time." He bent down and kissed her passionately. When they broke the kiss B'Elanna said looking more serious, "No one has ever made me feel this way before. I've always read that one person can make another feel such passion, well, the Klingons say that your blood sings to them. I always thought it was an exaggeration. I was wrong. My blood sings to you, Thomas Paris." "My blood sings to you too, B'Elanna Torres." He took her hand and they continued to walk. "How much time do we have left here?" "About 15 minutes," she replied. "I don't want this to end." "It doesn't have to. Come stay with me tonight." "That's an invitation I can't turn down." Later in Tom's quarters, they were finally drifting into an exhausted sleep after making love again. Tom was surprised by B'Elanna's passion and her energy, and somehow her passion increased his. B'Elanna sat up suddenly and said, "Computer, set alarm for 06:00." "You don't always get up that early, do you?" "No, but I think I should get back to my quarters without running into anyone. I don't want to be the hot topic of discussion at breakfast tomorrow." "All right, but I'm not getting up that early. Come back here." She cuddled up close to him. Tom didn't really care if anyone saw B'Elanna leaving his quarters in the morning, but apparently she did. If that was the way she wanted it, that was fine with him. For now anyway. He kissed her forehead and breathed in her scent. She was completely asleep now. As Tom drifted off, he thought that he couldn't get enough of her, and hoped he never would. ********** End for now.